In the past women have been scrutinised on how they keep their lives together. Especially how to raise their children. From the point of view of a woman who is embarking on the journey of family life, it seems to me that there is way too many myths on how to do things 'the right way'.
1 Do it your way. There are no set rules about having a family although many people have grown up thinking that there is a clear right and wrong way of doing everything. Unfortunately too many people care about what other people think. It is better to do actions involuntary and the way you like to do it. It is not good to depend on others to do your duties. An example. This is just one example of trying to over control a situation in family life. As a woman there are so many stereotypes and expectations that so many think that they should try to live up to. This is a very unrealistic task for any woman to put upon herself.
2 Be patient. Whether you are married or not the person that you live with is undoubtedly the person that you spend the most time with. This can cause all sorts of situations that you probably never even though about until you find yourself in it. Because every couple is different and they all have their own dynamics it is hard to give an answer that will apply to everyone. The main piece of advice is to become the king or queen of patience. All you can do it be patient. No matter what the situation it is always better to take a deep breath and think about the predicament you are in, instead of rushing in than finding out later that you made the wrong decision. Or even worse saying or doing something that you regret. Apply that to all aspects of family life but especially when it comes to your other half.
3 Care for children. Children on the other hand need a more active approach. If you are just stood looking at them, taking a deep breath when you are supposed to be exerting some kind of discipline you are not going to leave a very big impression.
- Fast reflexes are the key, reactions to an ever changing, highly emotional, tiny person is definitely what you need. The worst thing that you can do is lose your temper. Of course children need to know what is right and wrong but screaming at the usually confused child is not the answer. However neither is just being walked over. The most important thing when it comes to parenting is consistency, children will be able to worm through any loop hole that they can find.
- Don't change your mind when you have made a decision or make it acceptable to do something on a one off basis as it can become confusing for the child when they think that it is okay and then get told off for doing the same thing later on.
4 Care for the elders. Another completely different relationship is the one between you and your parents and mother and father in law. If you are lucky enough to have a completely calm family where everyone gets on with each other all the time, It is essential. However if you are like the majority of the population and come across some issues along the way then the best thing you can do is try to appeal to a side of everyone that you can get along with, also try not to be too opinionated about everything for fear of causing upset, but not to the point of being fake
5 Be yourself. In the end you have to do what works for you in all aspects of family life. When you find a rhythm or framework that works for you stick with it without comparing yourself to anyone else. As the saying goes, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it."